Envy of the Agile Heart

by Sara Riley Mattson

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Christa Upton
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Christa Upton This album is full of lyrical melodies, lush harmonies, and fun beats. The lyrics are at once “girl next door” and yet profound, expressing truths universal to the human experience. The raw emotions expressed so poetically grab my spirit, and I could relate immediately. Sara Riley Mattson’s artistry shines in this beautiful folk album, Envy of the Agile Heart. Favorite track: Envy of the Agile Heart.
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credits

released August 20, 2015

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Sara Riley Mattson Rapid City, South Dakota

I'm a lifelong musician. The daughter of a deep-thinking poet and a harmony-obsessed choral singer. I grew up on the music my parents grew up on...Beach Boys, Beatles, Carole King, Paul Simon, Emmylou Harris, The Everly Brothers, and The Temptations. When you mix that with my classical piano and choral training I think you can hear where my style comes from. I like things that are fun and hard. ... more

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Track Name: North Star
We wouldn't know if the North Star burned out long ago
The space between
The light that we've seen
Still points the way and that's okay by me

And in between when the star died
And the last of the light arrived
Reaching the summit and heading back down
I know where I am and then I get turned around

It's a hard night and first light
Knowing it's wrong and knowing it's right
Between loss and letting go and letting in

It's the first breath and saying goodbye
There's plenty of light still reaching my eye
The mare's mane falls to her back
And skydiver's always make me cry

We wouldn't know if the there's just one day left in this show
The arctic ice crackles and sighs
The eider dives and a wisp of light arrives
The winter sun has journeyed so far away
Dusk is lasting days and days
Still there's light to find the way

It's a hard night and first light
Knowing it's wrong and knowing it's right
Between loss and letting go and letting in

It's the first breath and saying goodbye
There's plenty of light still reaching my eye
The mare's mane falls to her back
And skydiver's always make me cry
Track Name: Ocean
Shadow sits high upon a leafless tree
Singing so hauntingly the song that is inside of me
I thought to join him
Protected by his cage of branches
Inside the cage
Is the only place where I feel safe

You can hurt me
You can wish for suffering
To take me under
But it won't release you

I'm sick of trying to protect you and lately
I'm come to believe that I've got to sing to keep on singing

And I want to swim across the ocean
I might not even have to come up for air
And I've been pretending I wasn't choking
Pretending that I didn't care you left me there

To call the moon...
And hide from sun
And after losing track of one
To have to choose to fight or run
To hear the sea
But miss the sigh
To climb to the clouds
But miss the dying of the night

...

And I want to swim across the ocean
I might not even have to come up for air
I've been pretending I wasn't choking
Pretending I didn't care you left him there

I've been pretending you aren't broken
Pretending I didn't know you lost yourself there
Track Name: Joshua Tree
The dried lake bed
The sky is painted purple and red
The climbing and diving of a fighter jet
So delicate in the light of sunset

The rain comes in sheets across the lake
And floods the hard and cracked landscape
And thousands of flowers then do wake
So delicate in the light of day

Chasing the light night after night
The earth draws me near
And night draws the curtain
Rest easy my dear, you belong here
Track Name: Envy of the Agile Heart
The once forgotten shadow in moonlight
Erased by the projects of men
Is standing before me as clear as day
And the shadow of you is real again

I'm envious of the agile-hearted
Afloat on the winds of reverie
But the winds blowin' through
And I'll go, too

I can't let you go
The tether is all that's left of me
I just can't let you go

Who's to say I'd end up free anyway?

I strum my guitar in the desert at midnight
The crickets sing backup
The moon is the spotlight
I don't know why I had to sing

I'm not sure that I've ever known anything
Track Name: Fight
I'm tired of the fight
Tired if dressing wounds and rebuilding ruins
Tired of fighting for yesterday's dreams
Whitewash the canvas
And breathe to believe that my heart's still beating

I'm tired of fighting
Who said fighting is the right thing
You're tired of fighting too
And I only really want to fight for you

I'm walking on and walking tall
The clock is stopped upon the wall
I'm not aggrieved that love ain't free
'Cause free to me is knowing who to fall into

Journey's end is where there's fire
But on the way is where we burn
Track Name: Sugar High Happiness
I went looking for the happiness of fireflies and theme park rides
Of spotting a pod of orcas swimming by your boat
I went looking of bliss and this occurred the other day to me
That’s just sugar high happiness and that’s fine
But you gotta pay the fine

Moving forward ‘n’ moving back, we’re really spinning round and round
Flying towards Andromeda at 300,000 miles per hour
The search for endless days of smiles at the cost of really living life
The turning of the planet gives us day
And it gives us night

There’s a long list of attempts I’ve had to not feel sad and not feel bad.
Religion couldn’t save me from the nature of the world
Chocolate mousse and fancy booze couldn’t do it either
It’s just sugar high happiness has this fine
But that’s fine
Track Name: Hard Day
The path before me is made of bricks that I have laid
I stepped off long ago the path that was already paved
Bricks are made in fire
But I’m so very tired
Of taking licks upon this trip
I just want to rest for awhile

It’s been a hard day in a hard week of a hard year
Like a tidal wave in the air the winds of fate have brought me here
It’s a hard day in a week and the wind took what I thought would be
And I don’t know, whoa, what’s to become of me

The years before these have taken all I worked to save
And left me a worn and empty weathered vase
There is healing in the fire
But I’m so very tired
Of taking licks upon this trip
I just need to rest for awhile

I always thought there’d be something more
I thought the next turn would be easier
I always thought I’d figure it out
But I’m not so sure anymore
Track Name: The Sea Remains
We were walking in the rain
No shoes on my feet
The water drips down my hair
To meet the street

We’ll climb and climb ‘til we see all five peaks
Then watch as the river empties to the sea

The courage to breathe out
The courage to breathe back in
I begin again and then you do the same
The red rocks shift and run away
I lie back and think I might be okay
You might be okay too
The storm surge swept away the land
But the sea remained

A prison in my mind
And untouchable time
The lost years
The numb years
The how the hell do we get through these years fear
I’ll take you back to the you you thought you’d lost forever
I’ll take you back, I’ll take you back
Just hold me tight tonight
I might need you to do the same